A nomad family moved by Consciousness like ours is constantly moving, changing, receiving God's directions. Some months ago we felt that a new place was waiting for us and, at the same time, that we -individually and as a tribe- needed to transform both former organization and relationships with Love.
It started little by little. One day Bruno said: "I'm stopping everything until we change the way we live now". For me it was like an outer voice of mine speaking out loud, so we tried and tried but it wasn't the timing; our teenagers were not ready to express or participate in any way, they might had not a clue about what to change and what to propose instead, which it's super normal...
Months of relationship struggle kept going and the size of the house wasn't helping neither, so I first consulted to mother ayahuasca during the retreats and the answers were raw, beautiful and direct to the ego.
I remember one night it let me know she was in charge, not me, and she treated me like I was a kinder garden child to show me both sides (light and darkness) of the parenting role and as a reminder of what is to be in teenage shoes (amazing); in other ceremony, ayahuasca came so clearly with other ancient grandmothers, all of them tree-shaped hands and surrounded by forest, fire present and mystical, they sang for me: niña bejuco, mujer bejuco, madre bejuco like a mantra, so they welcomed me to re-member in the present moment this feminine essence, the old feminine wisdom. Along with other information, thanks to this mantra I started integrating the interaction of this three phases happening within at the same time and the importance of this to shift my current roles at home.
Something I know now is if the mother is well the whole family is well too. Like a resonance the exact people with the accurate information and help started coming thanks to different contexts, it was life and the feminine energy manifesting what I needed to make my leaps. I received help and instructions in the form of breathwork, breaks with magical women, couple therapy, massages, dances, more yoga and more plants medicine.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés talks about the importance of pampering the mother to accompanying her evolution from a infant mother to a mature mother, whatever her age is.
Click the image for a free pdf download
But the biggest gift I received was the fact that I started to work with my shadow in a new way: recently every time my shadow came to visit with a pattern from childhood that was moving me inside I decided not to project that information on the other one and surf the inner waves of my childhood waters -intense, not easy-, so I was not harming outside and handling inside; it's a powerful and sacred shift because the thought-emotion neurological connections were done when the brain was growing so we're talking about brains -cranial, cardiac, intestinal one- configuration, and I can compare how I feel my automatic behavior with an addiction.
What are my resources to manage the visit of the shadow once it's triggered? For example, I found myself taking a shower (water element) and dancing Brazilian music that I love (sounds, rhythms, movement) at midnight; by the end of the experiment I was feeling happy, centered, present and relax. I used water element and vibrations to move, clean and dilute the old information so I could be in the present and then sleep like a baby, for me it was efficient to stop the recurring thought-forms related to this survival feeling triggered.
Mantras are other technique I'm using now; for example, to release the thought-form and the emotion linked to a pattern, I move my consciousness from a concentrated state (let's say triggered insecurity) to a expanded state (I am). The case: I feel insecure about myself when I'm with new people, then, the mantra that I'd use might be the next one:
The insecurity of being with new people or the security of being with new people both are free to be, it's their unique destination.
Maybe at the beginning the mantra seems to be a nonsense but that's really irrelevant, it's the mind trying to be in control, so the important thing here is that: a) I'm recognizing the limiting thought that I'm ready to detach from, b) I'm in acceptance and I'm free from expectations (my consciousness starts expanding its focus), c) as a result, I return to the I am where I'm not the person (the social construction) but the eternal, wise and happy essence.
Facts: in two months I noticed the changes. All my relationships improved because my relationship with myself is better and better while keeping the new habits.
And I'm trying new options exploring myself as a consciousness that has responsibility over a mind body, a physical body, and an emotional body... Choices like fasting to give a break to the physical body and being aware of how it changes the mind to a more present, creative and willing state. Of course, the shadow comes with homework hahaha...
So the new home that I knew was waiting for us came easily when we were ready. Smoothly we packed and gave away things as we thanked and said good bye to Casa de May, the little shelter by the Arenal Volcano that some of you were at during the retreats. This place was a blessing not only for our family but for yours too. You are very welcome to come to our new home, mountain, skyline, rain forest, cricket choir night, intimate refuge full of natural calmnes in La Tigra by Children's Eternal Forest, just 40 minutes from La Fortuna.
Finally, to remember that the power always is within and that any resource outside is a decision that causes a temporary state of consciousness to integrate more and more about the great creation in expansion that I already am.
Book the I recommend: I Am That I Am from Michael El Nour.